Nagging is one of the most common side effects of marriage. Your critical analysis of your partner draws an invisible line of partition between you and your partner. Here are some beneficial tact’s to beat your nagging streaks.
Nag: “Why are the clothes lying on the bed? Can you ever put them to the right place?”
Hitch: Perhaps your better half may hesitate to say this to you but may surly think, “You do the job just fine so why should I. ” And calmly watch you walk-by – carrying the load like a donkey, in anger, contemplating to kick its master. You may end up smelling the fumes of your frustration by unconsciously playing the role of a parent in your spouse’s life.
Transform: Try saying, “Could you please pick up the clothes which are lying around” will surly pay off. It will definitely take your spouse by surprise and will cost him a fraction of a second – to digest your kind, non- critical words. But it may surly act as coal to the fire engine – to get started!
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield- comedian and actor
Nag: “You are always glued to the T.V! You don’t have time to listen to me!”
Hitch: Probably your spouse may reply, “But I am listening to you”… while still concentrating on the on-goings of a cricket match. Satisfied by the response echoing its way to the kitchen – busy chopping vegetables for dinner, you may break open the flood gates of all the trivial issues. Soon realizing the dead silence coming from across the other end; you may hurry to check on your spouse – only to be stunned to witness your spouse hale and hearty, enjoying the game. On your shocking arrival with a knife in hand, he may utter your words like a parrot (in desperation) to prove to you that he was listening … Then with an easy smile he may conclude to say, “See I was listening.”
Transform: If you see your spouse enjoying a T.V. program, try being a detective to know exactly what your sweetheart is watching. If you think it is a boring stuff for your brain, try indulging in activities of your interest. Call up a friend to gossip about the whole world … or listen to music and dance to your favourite number … or relax and enjoy reading a book. For a conversation with your spouse, choose a relaxing time – may be the dinner time or just before going to bed. Hold your beloved’s hand, gaze in the eyes and calmly discuss the issues troubling you, all these loving gestures will lead up to initiate a healthy conversation.
“When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.” – Helen Rowland – journalist and humourist
Nag: “Why do I have to suffer like this? I end up doing all the household chores while you do nothing at all, am I not a human being?!!”
Hitch: Your spouse may possibly think, “God! What’s making her sulk today? And when did I ever doubt, she not being a human!” In anger, he will respond to protest, “So are you trying to tell me, I treat you like an animal?” Rapidly, with equal efficiency you will respond back saying, “Yes you do!” Slamming the bedroom door hard on your husband’s face, almost hurting his nose, you may retire to cry at your heart’s content.
Transform: “Divide and rule”, employ this famous phrase to your aid, it means divide the chores according to preference. If you’re a better cook, employ yourself to the task, meanwhile, let your spouse take responsibility for the kids study or play activity. If your spouse hates messy rooms, allow him/her take in charge of maintaining the house clean. You can take the responsibility of payment of bills and shopping for groceries. At times, odd or long office hour is the reason for disruption in leading a healthy family life. To counter attack this situation, you can hire a help for the household chores and spent the precious hours relaxing in the arms of your beloved.
“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner – comedian, writer and actress
Nag: “You are an idiot!!”
Hitch: Certainly, you are on the attack by dropping the boom of irresponsible words. The consequence of it would surely be – by defence attack or cold war techniques employed from the defensive end. Seriously, it implies that – criticism may make your spouse resentful. The more you criticize the more your words will become ineffective or your spouse may feel inadequate. Finally, it leads your partner to avoid you completely.
Transform: Is your spouse a mirror image of you? Definitely, the answer is – No! So avoid adding your own expectation on your partner. If you want a work done according to your specifications, get things done yourself (… This theory works better than burdening your spouse and later criticizing). If a particular habit of your spouse is driving you insane, discuss the issue.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” … “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henry Youngman- comedian and violinist